


Probably Unauthorized

by PacingWithCats



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Lighthearted, and jedi yay, and quite silly tbh, exploring the subculture of the GAR, more clones will show up I promise, most of these are really silly sorryy, somewhat cracky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:04:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PacingWithCats/pseuds/PacingWithCats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Grand Army of the Republic has its own unique culture. With over 3 million identical soldiers and a strong sense of brotherhood, things were bound to happen. To any outsider, their mannerisms and the traditions especially might seem a bit odd. The 501st was probably responsible for half of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My General is better than yours or The Story of How Hardcase Started a Jedi Trading Card Trend

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was inspired by one of angelaxeinf's headcanons. (Follow her on tumblr for more cool headcanons) This work is mostly silly and fluffy, so don't expect a whole lot of seriousness

 

* * *

[Here's the headcanon](http://angelaxexinf.tumblr.com/post/119300931384/okay-but-imagine-this-clones-make-fanart-of)

It all started with a mission on some fekkin’ Outer Rim backwater planet. A mission to deliver some supplies to a planet that had just joined the Republic took a turn for the weird when the locals kidnapped General Skywalker. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the strangest part. At that point, Hardcase thought things couldn’t get worse. Looking back on the mission, he realized never ever say anything like that.

 None of the clones’ training on Kamino could have prepared them for facing the sight of their General sitting on a throne being showered with flowers whilst several of their brothers were trussed up like Life Day nunas. Suffice to say, that was a sight to see. Several misunderstandings, ignited lightsabers, and muttered swears to never speak of this mission outside of official documents later, Hardcase and the rest of Torrent Company that wasn’t tied up had a new appreciation of Commander Tano’s skills with her lightsabers.

 Most of the time, he was too busy taking down clanker after clanker to really notice the Jedi and their frustrating lack of armor when they were on the battlefield. The droids went down quicker and that was all he really cared about when it came to the Jedi’s combat skills. However, the mission that they never swore to speak of (unless you wanted a blaster rifle shoved up your nose) really opened Hardcase’s eyes to the grace and power of the Jedi. It wasn’t every day you got to see someone do three backflips while brandishing laser swords. Kriffin’ awesome.

So kriffin’ awesome, it had to be immortalized. He didn’t have much flimsi left after trading off a few armor designs, only a few small sheets left. Still, that wasn’t going to stop Hardcase from illustrating the Commander and her backflips. Heck, maybe he’d draw General Skywalker, though maybe not him sitting on a throne while being showered with flowers. Maybe.

* * *

 

"Hey Hardcase, watcha got there?" Hardcase looked up from his latest sketch of General Skywalker. After finishing his picture of Commander Tano, he thought, "Where there's Commander Tano, General Skywalker isn't too far behind." Jesse and Kix had sat down beside him, trays of food ignored to hear what he had to say.

"Oh, well," he began, slightly self conscious of what he was doing. He had to explain eventually.

"Remember the mission?" he asked. Hardcase gestured with his hands in an attempt to describe the mission that must not be spoken of. He glanced to his right. The Captain sat at a table nearby and Hardcase was not in the mood to scrub astromechs until they shone bright enough to be seen from Coruscant. He hoped his gestures were distinct enough.

Jesse and Kix stared at him blankly. "You know," muttered Hardcase with frustration. He shot several pointed glances to their Captain sitting dangerously close within earshot. "The _mission_ mission."

Jesse frowned and took a bite of his food. "Hardcase, are you okay?"

Hardcase rolled his eyes and beckoned for the two to lean in. They obliged, confused.

"I'm talking about the mission we must never speak of except outside of official circumstances." whispered Hardcase. Realization dawned on Jesse and Kix's faces. They began to eat, somewhat satisfied with their brother's answer.

 

"What about it Hardcase?" said Kix in between bites. Jesse nodded in agreement. Hardcase grinned and leaned in. He slid his tray over to reveal several small pieces of flimsi. Befuddled, Kix scooted closer to get a better look at what was enough trouble to whisper about in the loud mess hall.

"Is that..." Jesse began.

"...Commander Tano...?" Kix finished. He squinted at another piece of flimsi. "And General Skywalker?" Hardcase nodded, proud that his artistic talent was being acknowledged. Jesse picked up the piece with Commander Tano.

"Wow, that's pretty accurate," Jesse studied the piece. Commander Tano was depicted in one of her opening stances, lightsabers blazing. On the bottom of the picture was her name written in stylized Aurebesh.

"Do you have any extra cards?" Kix asked. "I'd like one, how much is it gonna cost me?"  Hardcase was slightly taken aback. Other than the occasional gunship nose art design or tattoo art, no one had really asked for his art.

"Ah, well," he smiled. "I don't suppose you'd trade for taking first watch on the next mission?"

Kix stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, maybe not. How about some paints? I know a guy that could set you up." Hardcase considered his offer. The cards sure would look nice in color.

"You drive a hard bargain brother, but I'll take it." said Hardcase. He extended his hand and the two shook. "What about you Jesse?"

"If you do one of General Kenobi, I'll take first watch for the next two missions."

Hardcase smiled. Paints and not having to take first watch? Today was a good day.

"Deal."

* * *

What started as a small bargaining system and hobby quickly spread throughout the ranks of the 501st.  Several other artistically inclined clones began illustrating cards of their own featuring different generals. General Skywalker was always a favorite and Commander Tano was always a mainstay within Torrent Company.

Debates on whether other generals could take on each other in a fight began popping up. At first the tradition of the cards and debates was a 501st thing. Then there was a mission with the 212th and then the cards spread like wildfire across the GAR. Battered images of Jedi Generals and commanders tucked away under pillows were a relatively common sight. If one listened in to late night conversations at the barracks, snippets of "That General would totally kick their shebs." and "Um, no you're wrong, General Skywalker would win fight me vod." could be heard in addition to the usual banter.

A General Skywalker was always a decent trade. Rarer cards of lesser known generals were always treasured. Rumor had it you can get on the Wolfpack's okay side if you had a Plo Koon card. That however was a point that was sometimes debated because few have been brave enough to try.

* * *

"I'm just saying, General Kenobi would totally win against General Kennen."

"Are you kidding Boil?" Waxer took a sip of his drink. 79's was packed that night with members of the 212th, 501st, and 717th celebrating their joint victory. Boil snorted.

"Come on Waxer, you've seen him in action. Don't tell me you've forgotten about Ryloth that quickly." Waxer rolled his eyes and Boil smirked at the fact he had a point. "Besides, you've never seen her in action."

Waxer frowned and looked at the card in his hand. A dark haired woman dressed in a short blue tunic and cream colored pants was lovingly painted on the piece of flimsi. Her lightsabers were ignited and crossed in front of her.

"They call her the angel of the 717th," noted Waxer. "Maybe her lightsabers are the wings?" Boil took a shot.

"Cute."

"I'm just saying, twice the lightsabers, twice the ass kicking."

"You just say she could win cause you think she's cute."

"I do not!"

"Do too."

"Hey, I got some new cards," Waxer interjected, eager to change the subject. He pulled out a small stack and began flipping through them.

"Just got General Secura, General Yoda, hey a General Shaak Ti!" exclaimed Waxer. Boil smiled into his drink while listening to his brother ramble about the merits of one lightsaber to two. A card sticking out the pile caught his eye. He plucked it out.

"I don't remember you having a General Skywalker," Boil mused. Waxer squinted at the card.

"Oh yeah, that one's new. One of the shinies traded me for a General Kenobi. I'm not sure it really looks like him."

"His saber's blue right?"

"Yeah but there's something off about the face..." The conversation dissolved into a mutual analysis of the Skywalker card until a gruff voice interrupted.

"His chin isn't that soft."

Waxer and Boil turned to face Captain Rex, who was nursing a bottle of ale. Rex motioned for the card and Boil handed it to him, stunned. The two didn't realize command got into this.

Rex studied the card intently. "His saber's a bit too blue but otherwise it's not a bad rendition." He returned the card to the dumbstruck clones and raised his drink in a toast to them.

"As you were gentlemen," he said and walked off, leaving a very surprised Boil and Waxer to process what just happened.

Little did they know, two battered cards with the images of his General and Commander were tucked neatly in his pocket.

**  
**   
  
  



	2. Not so Above it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a saying throughout the known galaxy that there are only 2 things that travel faster than light speed: Antarian stomach flu (Which has brought a good portion of the GAR to their knees and bent over toilets) and gossip (much more entertaining to say the least and possibly the only thing more contagious than the previously mentioned flu). Any sentient being could bond over sharing tidbits of incriminating information about others and handing each other a bucket during a nasty bout of the infamous stomach flu and Jedi and Clone Troopers were no exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to explore how Anakin's, Rex's and Ahsoka's relationship might have developed. I always loved the theme that the Clones gossip a whole lot and wanted to incorporate that with their relationships with the Jedi. Teensy bit of OOC, I wanted to capture some of the awkwardness and how Anakin maybe shouldn't get away without consequence

Coruscant, 22 BBY, 2.5 Galactic Standard months into the Clone Wars

Anakin Skywalker wasn't renowned for his patience. Starpiloting yes, sitting through yet another dull briefing without being bored 5.75 minutes in, no. This briefing had the exact same content the last one did, why were they going through this again?

Seated around him were several other Generals, some newly promoted. He felt a twinge of sympathy, his hair was slowly growing back where his padawan braid was sheared off. Obi-Wan was seated across the table, listening intently to some dull Admiral drone on. Ugh, they'd been over this already. Anakin let his gaze drift to the Clone Troopers standing at the edge of the small briefing room, their posture impeccable. They were eerily quiet standing at parade rest, surely they would find this just as boring and maybe fidget or give some indication of boredom.

"...as I said earlier, the Separatists would not dare attack the Core Worlds. However, our Intelligence informs us that they have been gathering forces here," the Admiral informed. They gestured to the holo-map where clusters of red dots signifying the Separatist forces floated on the edges of the Mid Rim . It had been two and a half months after Geonosis but the Seperatists wasted no time in attacking.

"Now..." they went on covering the last points. Would this meeting end? Anakin's gaze drifted over to some of the Generals. Their faces were impassive, typical of the Jedi. However a few did let their masks fade and displayed rather irritated and tired looks. Anakin smirked. Maybe they weren’t so above it all.

"...on the lookout for better methods to disable their ray shielding. If we don't have any questions, that should be all." said the Admiral. Despite delivering the same information again in the previous meeting, they looked rather calm instead annoyed. The Admiral looked around the room expectantly.  Anakin sent a telepathic plea for no one to say anything. Luckily it seemed that it did not fall on deaf minds even if the plea wasn't a genuine telepathic message.

No one spoke up. The Admiral gave a satisfied nod. "Very well, dismissed." The Jedi got up from their seats almost a bit too enthusiastically. Perhaps they weren't as interested as they looked. Anakin got up and walked over to his second in command, Captain Rex. The group of Clone Troopers broke off from where they were standing to meet their Generals. The Captain was easily identifiable with his freshly painted armor, a newly implemented idea to raise morale and encourage individuality.

"Let's go Captain," said Anakin. They had a long campaign ahead of them with a few days til they were deployed. He was going to make the most of them even if Padme wasn't on Coruscant. Rex obliged, keeping a respectful distance. On their way out of the room, the two passed the tail end of a conversation involving Obi-Wan and a female Jedi wearing a blue tunic.

"...I suppose our sparring match with have to wait until next time." remarked Obi-Wan. The other Jedi nodded and smiled. She bid him farewell and walked off with a her second-in-command. Anakin smirked and rolled his eyes. He wasn't a padawan anymore but he was certain some things never changed. If Obi-Wan saw his former padawan's impertinence, he gave no indication.

“Sir?”

Anakin cursed mentally. But of course Rex saw him. The Captain's posture was ramrod straight as he kept walking. His head however was ever so tilted upwards, expecting a response. Anakin had never really seen such a display, Rex abided regs perfectly which irked Anakin slightly. Did the man ever loosen up? Hoping to clear the atmosphere, Anakin cracked a crooked smile.

"Ah it's nothing, just Mas-," he stopped quickly, then corrected himself.  "-General Kenobi again." The Jedi now had ranks within the Republic's army, it was a transition that Anakin was still getting used to-referring to peers as "General". Captain Rex lowered his head slightly. The helmet wasn't exactly the easiest thing to look at when having a conversation thought Anakin.

 

The two continued walking through the maze of corridors, somewhat silent after Anakin's response. The rhythmic clacking of armored boots and softer nerf hide boots that sounded out of sync distracted him. He almost didn't notice the response.

"General Kenobi has displayed rather effective strategies, is there something wrong with the General?" said Rex. His question caught Anakin off guard and he had to fumble with his words.

"Wha- oh no. He was my master and well.." he trailed off. Would it be appropriate to share the next bit? Being his padawan, of course Anakin knew embarrassing stories and quirks of Obi-Wan. Sharing the fact that Obi-Wan flirted with many beings, friend and foe alike wouldn't break too many rules right? Anakin glanced at the Captain, the reflection of the visor creating a barrier.

Behind that visor was a man who would relay his orders and at his side fighting droids. Being on good terms was a benefit and being able to communicate was vital, thought Anakin. His thoughts briefly flashed back to whispers of rule breaking, but he brushed them aside. He had his own path now.

 

"Actually," Anakin began. He glanced around conspiratorially. "Obi-Wan's a bit of a flirt. If Anakin could see beyond the visor, he would have guessed that Rex raised an eyebrow. He would be correct in that assumption. The two passed through the exit onto the landing pad. They walked over to where Anakin's speeder was parked.

"There was a mission to Felucia, before the war. Some bounty hunters were involved, I think. Anyway, at one point we ended up tied upside down." began Anakin. He climbed into the driver's side of the speeder and Rex followed suit, climbing into the passenger's side. They secured themselves.

"Of course before ah- resorting to aggressive negotiations, Obi-Wan flirted with the lead bounty hunter. He flirted." Anakin started the speeder and the two took off to join the tide of Coruscanti traffic. As they whizzed by bright signs and bad drivers, Anakin explained the rest of the mission while Rex listened on in polite silence.

"He was all,” launched Anakin, “Oh, well it’s hard to take in the power of such a skilled bounty hunter when we’re hanging upside down. The previous statement was uttered in a decent impersonation of General Kenobi’s Coruscanti accent. Anakin continued, gesturing and making some questionable maneuvers. Rex gripped the side of the speeder as he listened on with a mixture of awed and confused silence. “It would be advisable to let us down or I’m afraid our negotiations will have to be more...direct.” Anakin stopped speaking with his Obi-Wan accent.

“Unbelievable. We weren’t exactly in any position to negotiate, our lightsabers were gone and Obi-Wan flirts with a bounty hunter.” ranted Anakin. He jerked the steering sideways, causing the speeder to make a hard left. Rex opened his mouth to point out that General Skywalker made a wrong turn, but Anakin interrupted him.

“I don’t think the bounty hunter really appreciated having his power complimented anyway.” Anakin smirked and merged into another lane of speeder traffic. “Master got his tailbone bruised after he was flipped. Couldn’t sit down for a while.” Anakin paused, letting the dirt on the esteemed General Kenobi sink in. He had to admit, sharing this anecdote made him nervous. Rex didn’t say anything the whole ride. “But he’s like a brother to me.” Anakin quietly admitted.

“Ah, General,” said Rex. Anakin’s hopes rose. Maybe his Captain wasn’t such as sociable as a slab of duracrete. “This isn’t the way to the barracks.” His hopes sank like said slab of duracrete. The flashy advertisements seemed familiar. Oh. This was a way to the caf place he and Padme frequented. He glanced at the Captain, who was waiting for a response. The proper thing to do was to turn back and report to the barracks. However, his head screamed for a steaming mug of caf after that tedious meeting. He continued on.

“Yes, you’d be correct Rex.” he said. The two were rendered quiet for a few moments. His boldness shocking him for a few moments. Normally, Anakin and Rex operated on a professional basis. General or General Skywalker. Captain or Captain Rex, never just Rex. Until now.

“Sorry Captain,” said Anakin, breaking the silence. “I really needed a mug of caf after that meeting. I guess I didn’t know how much I really needed it.” He thanked the Force and Padme for the small credit chit nestled in his belt pouch. A spot in the traffic opened and he pulled the speeder onto the landing pad in front of the shop. Rex crossed his arms.

“General, this is a breach in protocol.” he said. Anakin couldn’t see his face, but he probably guessed that Rex was frowning. Something about his posture, the fact that he shared a personal anecdote that was met with silence irked Anakin.

“It was a breach in protocol to share that story Captain, yet you said nothing. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get a cup of caf. You’re welcome to sit out here and wait with the speeder. Or you can join me. I’ll buy you a cup.” retorted Anakin. He regretted his irritated tone almost immediately. It wasn’t right of him to do this and drag the Captain along with him. He turned away. To his surprise, he heard the armored footsteps of Rex approach him. Anakin turned to face him. He was slightly taken aback at the absence of the Captain’s helmet. It hung from his belt, neatly clipped in place. Anakin felt the words of apology trip from his tongue.

“I-I. My apologies Captain. It wasn’t right of me to deviate. We can return to the barracks now.” mumbled Anakin. He couldn’t quite meet the Captain’s eyes.  A thoughtful look crossed Rex’s face.

“I have brothers who do incredibly ridiculous things too.”

Anakin looked at Rex, incredulous. He had hoped his story would ease the awkwardness between the two, but he didn’t expect much from it.

“We are currently off duty right now, curfew is at…” Rex trailed off, insinuating things that were rather out of character for him. Anakin grinned and gestured for him to follow. Maybe he wasn’t a complete slab of duracrete.

 

“Rom’s has great non-caffeinated options. Although I could really go for some caf...”

******  
**

* * *

Though one would never suspect it within the neat lines of the GAR’s troops, gossip was as ubiquitous as life throughout the galaxy. Snippets of stories, so winded and warped from the original source material drifted throughout the ranks. Rumors of love affairs gone sour, sources of contraband, the ever popular debate of “Our Jedi can beat yours”, and Jedi shenanigans were commonly heard whether one was in the Mess Hall, the barracks, even the bridge. Of course Jedi weren’t exempt from the temptations of gossip.

* * *

The Hangar bay of the Resolute, within deep space, 22 BBY 0800 hours, 2 weeks after Ahsoka Tano’s arrival

 

 

The arrival of Commander Tano had generated waves of fresh gossip. Torrent Company and the 501st were unsure of what to make of her at first, but her positive demeanor and cheerfulness were quickly earning her appreciation. However, Captain Rex was sure to discourage any unsavory thoughts. She was their commander. Disharmony could create problems on the battlefield.  And as likeable as she was, more importantly, she was still shiny and young. A fact that was highlighted after additional star fighter training from General Skywalker.

Ahsoka was perched on a stack of crates looking rather disoriented. Early in the day cycle, General Skywalker had taken her for a training maneuver in order to better acquaint her with starpiloting in combat situations. Of course being General Skywalker, perhaps he took it a bit out of hand. Captain Rex noticed the Commander’s dazed state and paced over to her to make sure she was okay.

“Commander. Is everything okay?”

Ahsoka smiled wanly. “I’m fine Rex, training was a little harder than I thought.” She sighed. “I just don’t feel like I’m really meeting up to his standards.” The noises of the hangar bay seemed less intrusive in that moment. She scooted over from her place on the crates and gestured to another section of the stack. Rex took a moment to consider her offer, then obliged. He sat down on the crate and listened. She continued.

“I mean, he’s the Hero With No Fear, the Chosen One. I should be honored to be his Padawan.” Ahsoka bit her lip. “But I’m scared. What if I don’t meet his expectations?” She let the question sink in. Rex coughed to break the silence.

“Listen, ah kid. General Skywalker is a skilled General. I trust his expertise,” he began. Kriff, was this helping? He continued. “But he isn’t perfect.” A particularly humorous incident involving a particular puddle during a  rainstorm on a Separatist moon crept into his mind. Rex wasn’t sure if this was appropriate but maybe it would make the Commander feel better.

“Ever hear about Alpha VII?”

Ahsoka shook her head. Rex cracked a small smile.

 

“Well then little’ un, you’re in for a hell of a story. We were marching through the brush during the rainy season, General Skywalker leading Torrent Company in the front…”

Rex barely managed to finish his story over Ahsoka’s peals of laughter. When General Skywalker returned to take Ahsoka to the Mess, he was puzzled to find her giggling on top of some supply crates and Rex, sitting on top of the crates with a mask of polite impassiveness. He did however find himself with a nickname probably more irritating than ‘Skyguy’. Anakin Skytripper.

 

****  
  


* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at pacingwithcats.tumblr.com and cry with me over headcanons  
> General Kennen is an OC  
> If there are errors, please let me know and forgive me-this is not betaed.


End file.
